Planning your wedding will be one of the most important events you will ever plan in your life, and for that reason it may also be one of the most stressful times you encounter. Think about what that means for your relationship? How it can affect your engagement – and eventually your marriage!
During stressful times your character is tested and your “true colors” revealed, what will those colors show? Will they be dark colors or pastels? Think about this for a second… how can you prevent the stress of planning your biggest and most important day of your life (so far) from taking over your emotions and likely ruin what is to be the rest of your life with your soul mate?
Is it that serious and dramatic you ask… I absolutely think so! Your engagement is a perfect time for you and your love to take out the magnifying glass and find those “little things” that if unspoken or not dealt with may cause great challenges in the marriage.
Here are six ways to keep your relationship SANE during your engaged season. I guarantee you will enjoy the relationship and the wedding planning process much more if you follow these tips:
- Establish “Rules of Planning” – Once engaged it is important to talk about details, make checklists, and establish boundaries. Communicate what you will not tolerate during disagreements – like certain tones, behaviors, and actions. Setting these rules from the beginning will allow you both to be on the same page and hold each other accountable when planning gets intense.
- Be a United Front – Event when you don’t agree, DO NOT contradict each other around friends and family! Everyone will have an opinion and give you their “input” (even when you don’t ask for it), making it harder on you to make decisions and increase your stress meter! I am not saying you can’t disagree, just don’t make a big deal about it in front of others and discuss it further alone. If you can’t come to an agreement, discuss it with your planner (who should be unbiased)
- Always Remember The Ultimate Goal – Isn’t it to live happily ever after? Then why not start before your special day?
- Embrace Each Other – Your engagement season should follow what I like to call the “80/20 Rule”. Simply put – 80% of your time should be focused on loving, enjoying, and learning more about each other; you can’t do this enough! This is the perfect time to talk about marriage goals and aspirations (how many kids you want, what type of home you want, how many guests can visit in the year – and for how long?) Lol, you would be surprised what comes up! The other 20% of your time should be devoted to planning your wedding (it may even be less if the event is not that complex or if you hire a wedding planner). Subscribe to our page today and I will send you our “80/20 Rule of Engagement Guide” for free!
- Forgive Each other – This is a BIGGIE… brace yourselves! We all make mistakes and it is certain that you are going to disappoint one another sooner or later, but when that happens, what are you going to do? If you choose to hold a grudge and not forgive your partner I am sorry to say that you should stop planning this wedding right now! It will be a waste of time, money, and energy to continue the engagement – for lack of forgiveness is a disease that kills marriages every day! However, if you choose to forgive your partner you can enjoy life together fully. This can be a blog of its own as there are many components to cover in this topic) but it’s simple really – Why would you marry a persona that you can’t fully forgive? Or are you willing to live a life full of regrets, anger, and misery due to your lack of forgiveness? Forgiveness is a CHOICE, that when made gives birth to Happiness and Unconditional Positive Regard.
- Hire a Professional Planner – If you want to avoid some of the relationship calamities I’ve mentioned, hiring a professional wedding planner is the best way to go! Whether your wedding is big or small, simple or lavish, your wedding planner should be able to handle all the details and minimize the stress this process can cause. Being open and honest with your planner will allow him/her to work for you effectively and deliver exactly what you BOTH want and need!
CONFESSION: These tips are based on the very mistakes I’ve made and the changes I had to make in order to acquire true happiness in my relationship. My hope is that these tips prevent you from experiencing what we did and that they bring joy to your engagement and ultimately your marriage!